I come to this work as a practitioner. And before that, as someone who needed this to save himself.

In 2022, at the tail end of the pandemic lockdown, I went through a period where I thought I had adult ADHD, but it turned out to be mild depression and anxiety. The kind that does not announce itself dramatically, yet is a constant presence of cloudiness above your head. That was the diagnosis by a kind, patient clinical psychologist from the Mentari Malaysia centre after a 3-hour session. I was lucky that no other patients were scheduled at the time.

What helped me find my way back was a contemplative practice I had been sitting with on and off, as skilfully as a raw beginner could get. Vipassana meditation, rooted in the Dhamma teachings, gave me a way to be with what was happening inside me without being consumed by it. From that steadiness, I started reaching out. I started asking friends how they were. I sent voice notes on how to breathe. I held space, and in holding space for others, I kept finding my own.

The more I share, the more I remember who I am. That is still true today.